


Failure of Peace

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Everyone is Dead, Gen, It's just really sad, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-07
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-04-19 12:18:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14237133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “Those who’ve fought their whole lives usually expect to go out in a blaze of glory, in the heat of the moment, in blood and sweat and adrenaline. But what if that moment hits? The realization that it isn’t meant to be. The realization that fate has taken a vacation and Death has handed you the scythe. He took my brother, my best friends, my father, my love. Death took everyone and left me, and now he won’t even let me have the peace of seeing them again. I know, I’ve tried. Nothing worked.”





	Failure of Peace

“Those who’ve fought their whole lives usually expect to go out in a blaze of glory, in the heat of the moment, in blood and sweat and adrenaline. But what if that moment hits? The realization that it isn’t meant to be. The realization that fate has taken a vacation and Death has handed you the scythe. He took my brother, my best friends, my father, my love. Death took everyone and left me, and now he won’t even let me have the peace of seeing them again. I know, I’ve tried. Nothing worked.”

The pen rolled off the table as the person who’d been writing with it walked away. Another trip to the fridge. Another beer. Another tape popped into the deck. Another night pretending that Led Zeppelin wasn’t hiding the silence. There are tallies on a paper on the wall, but they are no longer up to date. The days passing hadn’t been accurately counted in months.

Some nights, it as easy to ignore the memories banging on glass walls built in his head. Other nights, nights like tonight, that glass was broken and the memories flooded forth. He remembered, quite clearly, everyone he lost. Memories, faces flashed in his vision, playing like a compilation of videos and photos.

Sammy. He had been so fucking smart. Was supposed to be a lawyer, before Dean stuck his big nose into that, ruined all that. Even after he left school, Sam was always a student. He studied and learned all they needed to know about lore, creatures, weapons. Things only scholars and experts knew. And his strength. He held doors open against the strength of an archangel. He got up and fought, stood himself up from the brink of death to save his brother. And he had the heart between the two. He cared about the people involved. He saved Dean more times than he could count. Sammy saved more people than Dean could name. Sammy deserved much better and Dean knew it.

Glass shatters to the floor as blood follows, dripping off already bruised knuckles. The distorted reflection taunts the unshaven face it shows. Skin collides with glass again as Dean attempts to obliterate his reflection.

Next, he could see their friends. All the ones he couldn’t save. Charlie in her LARP costume. His father behind the wheel of the Impala. His mother tucking in baby Sammy. Castiel popping in. Jo, Ellen, and Ash in the bar. Jody at the table with Claire and Alex. His whole life speckled with loss.

A loud echo breaks the silence of the bunker before Dean falls to his knees, sobs indicating his failure once again. All he wanted was peace.


End file.
